MORNING PISS
FEATURED ARTICLE
An old-school psytrance promoter has been touting the benefits of amaroli after claiming it helped him cure his cold. Amaroli is the ayurvedic practice of drinking one's own urine upon waking up in the morning, preferably before sunrise. Amaroli practitioners don't drink their piss right as it comes out though -- they only collect it midstream, which is where the good stuff is. The urine that comes out first is apparently bad for you.
The pee-drinking promoter lives with several roomates, and none of them are happy with his recently acquired habit of keeping jars of urine in the fridge. The man is adamant about his self-made medicine though. He claims that auto-urine therapy has some amazing benefits: it promotes tranquility, fortifies the immune system, and increases a person's power of imagination. Scientists who have investigated urine therapy believe these benefits are partly achieved because morning pee is chock full of melatonin, the hormone that plays a key role in regulating a person's body temperature and sleep cycle. Low levels of melatonin are associated with depression, insomnia, and a host of other disorders.
Despite the possibility that drinking your own piss might actually be good for you, his flatmates remain unenthusiastic about the practice, and insist that the goa loving pee guzzler find a new place to store his bottles of yellow gold. They've suggested that he buy a mini-fridge, or a small cooler, but the promoter has rejected both suggestions. Since his name is the only one on the apartment lease, he's told his flatmates that if they're unhappy with where he keeps his pee, they can move out. This seems unlikely, so for now, the flatmates will have to learn to live with a fridge full of bottled piss.