ATWATER — David G, a popular happy hardcore promoter, and his girlfriend E.C had spent weeks planning their orgy. "When David first brought up the idea of hosting a sex party, I was all for it -- so long as we only invited other couples." E.C told Ravenews. "I want to be able to trust the people I have sex with, and I figure if a woman's already screwing a guy, then he can't be a complete creep."

David and E.C had scheduled their orgy for Friday. "We had it all figured out. We had invited three couples that we were comfortable with. We met one online, and the other two were long time friends that we first met back when we studied at Dawson." It was going to be a perfect night of sensual excess. "We had boxes of brand new sex toys, we had lube, we had pizza, we had porn. It was going to be great. The couple we met online were the first to show up. We were getting really excited. So when the buzzer rang the second time, we ran to answer the door. And that's when we saw Radu."

Radu K. was one of David G.'s childhood friends. He had come to the neighborhood to catch a movie at the Old Forum, and when it was done, he decided to drop by David's place. "We weren't expecting him. If we had known it was him at the door, we wouldn't have opened it." E.C told us.

He was an uninvited and unwanted guest, a man who seemed oblivious to the sexual escapades that had been planned for the evening. "We let him in to be polite, but after that we just couldn't get him to leave. He wouldn't take a hint." David agrees. "We did everything short of physically throwing him out."

His presence was enough to scare off the couple they had met online. "They thought we were pulling a fast one on them. Oh, remember the people you thought you were going to have sex with? They don't exist. Why don't you sleep with Radu instead." David told us. "When the other couples showed up, I was in such a bad mood that even if we managed to get Radu to leave, the night wouldn't have been much fun."

Radu, for his part, was unapologetic. "I knew within minutes of arriving that they were planning to have an orgy. Once I figured it out, which wasn't hard considering there was a barely concealed box of sex toys in the kitchen, I decided to see what would happen if I acted like a clueless idiot. I had a blast. While they were in the kitchen talking about what to do with me, I was in their living room using their computer to chat with friends on IRC. I kept my friends on Undernet's #Montreal channel up to date with how David and E.C were dealing with me."

"He's a real asshole" said E.C. "We didn't realize he knew about our plans, and we were too shy to tell him the truth. So he trolled us. Hard."

Radu was unrepentant. "I've known David for nearly twenty years. If he's going to have orgy, and he wants me to leave, he needs to be man enough to say it to my face. I guess that's the lesson I wanted to teach him: don't throw an orgy if you're not willing to tell people about it."