WHEN BEES ATTACK
A massive bee attack disrupted an outdoor event last Sunday after a DJ accidentally stepped into their nest. When the swarm of honey loving flying pain machines decided to exact retribution on the hapless purveyor of beats, he sprinted off like a mad man.
"I was taking a piss out in the bushes before my set -- I play better on an empty bladder -- when I hear this buzzing sound. The next thing I know, I'm being swarmed by a dozen bees, and a couple of the bastards start stinging me. I just ran without thinking. Which might not have been a smart idea, but my mind was working on instinct at that point. I remember looking behind me, and it was like this yellow cloud of death was hunting me down. It was scary." the DJ told Rave News.
Unfortunately for the crowd of raving revelers, the DJ ran straight into them as the giant swarm of angry bees followed him in hot pursuit. Nature's agents of pain then decided to unleash their fury on anything with a pulse.
"It was nuts. One minute, we're grokking to some righteous old school happy hardcore, getting our dance on to some classic Anabolic Frolic, and the next minute everyone's running around yelling and screaming and howling in pain. It was pandemonium. One girl fell down during the bee attack and some fat hippy stepped on her ankle, and when she cried out in pain, it was like the bees smelled her suffering, because they all zeroed in on her. You should have seen her face after the attack. It looked like oatmeal." reports Dave Noodlemann, the event's promoter.
"I got stung about six times. I think this was just a freak incident -- dancers probably won't get attacked by a swarm of bees at our next party. We also plan on having designated panic areas for our future parties. If people are being chased by something, bees, bears, whatever, we don't want them leading their pursuers to the dance floor."