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Saturday September 15th, 2012
RAVER HAS SEX FOR $25 HEADPHONES AND A HAMBURGER



Emily Bacile had sex with a rave promoter in exchange for a pair of headphones and a hamburger. "I was at his flat with some friends and he was eating take out from McDonald's," says Emily. "I rolled a joint, and when I passed it to him, I noticed he had a pair of blue Nixon whip headphones. When I asked him if I could see them, he looked me right in the eye and told me he'd give them to me if I sucked his cock. I held his gaze and told him I'd do him one better -- I'd fuck him if he threw in a Big Mac. And just like that, we had ourselves a deal."

Sociologist Helen LaFemme isn't surprised by Emily's actions. "Trading sexual favours for headphones and hamburgers has become increasingly common among ravers," says Helen. "Courtship rituals have changed over the decades. We've gone from dating to deal making in just a few short generations. Ravers have been central to this shift. In some ways, they've pioneered the commodification of sex."

Not everyone is a fan of this brave new world that ravers are pioneering. Jessica DePalmo, a spokesperson for the Family Value Federation is an outspoken critic of the sexual mores of ravers. "They lack self-respect," says Jessica. "Sex isn't something you should trade for a pair of headphones, it's an intimate expression of two people doing their godly duty to create children."

Helen LaFemme isn't so sure, however. "If you go back fifty years, you'd find that hippies would trade sex for Bob Dylan records and milkshakes. Sixty years ago beatniks would trade sex for poetry and coffee. Seventy years our past zoot-suit wearing hep cats would trade sex for radios and a bottle of cola. For the past several decades each new generation has come up with a unique form of sexual bartering. This generation, it's burgers and headphones. Who knows what the next generation will bring -- but it probably isn't bloomers and wedding rings."

Emily is unconcerned with her critics and is happy with her business acumen. "It was a delicious Big Mac, and the Whip are a very decent pair of headphones. Sure, some people prefer Sennheiser's and a Harvey's Burger, but I think I got a good deal out of it. Besides, the Big Mac is a classic. You can't really go wrong with it. The sex was alright also. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."
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