A group of scientists at Concordia University, the world’s most prestigious center of higher learning, have released a shocking new study on men with large penises. According to researcher Henry Clay Frick, a whopping 90% of men with my little pony tattoos have penises that are over ten inches long.

“The results of our research shocked us,” says Henry. “We were expecting men with My Little Pony Tattoos to have tiny peckers, but it turns out that nearly all of them are packing heat between the sheets. They aren’t merely well endowed, either. No, their cocks are things of splendour, glistening monument’s to the glories of Priapus and all those who worship at his altar. These men not only have very large members, but they also possess incredible stamina and endurance in bed. In fact, after interviewing the lovers of men with my little pony tattoos, we discovered that their partners experienced frequent orgasms that were more numerous and longer lasting than women in relationships with men who don’t have cartoon ponies drawn on their bodies.”

My Little Pony enthusiast Carlos Galvez says he’s not surprised by the study. “Only a man with a very large penis would ever consider getting a tattoo about a child’s TV show,” says Carlos. “You need to have a great deal of self-confidence to live with the incessant ridicule that comes with having a visible pony tattoo. When people point and laugh at me, I don’t care, because I know that I have a giant cock that could satisfy a woman in ways your average man simply has no hope of matching. My enormous penis has given me a license to look like a total dork in public.”