Feminists have struck up an alliance with poorly endowed men as both groups are outraged by promotor Shawn Banquise’s Big Dicks Big Tits Party. “I have a thing for women with really large breasts,” says Shawn, “and I happen to know that many large breasted women have a thing for men with really large penises. I decided to throw a party that would bring both groups together. Big Dicks, Big Tits is the first party in the world that helps size queens meet chest fiends."

Melissa Mammaire, a busty DD beauty and proud size queen, says she’s happy that someone is finally organizing parties for women like her. “When you go to a club, you never know how well endowed the men are going to be until you bring them back home,” says Melissa. “At a Big Dicks Big Tits event, all the men have to show their erect penises to the bouncer before they’re allowed to enter. There’s no surprises at these parties, all the men are packing heat, and all the women have ample mounds. If you like big tits and you have a big dick, or vice versa, you’re going to have a good time."

Feminists and men with small penises find the parties offensive and degrading to women. “I am thoroughly outraged by the way Shawn Banquise is objectifying the delicate female sex with a coarse event that embodies toxic yet well endowed masculinity,” says Shiro LeCavalier, a 32 year old journalist. “I am angry and upset that we live in a society that tolerates these events and even more angry that I am not allowed to attend."

Many regular men are saddened that they can’t attend the Big Dicks Big Tits party, but most of them take it in stride. “Eh, the average size penis is 6 inches,” says averagely endowed McGale student Pierce Broggan. “I don’t think we should get upset if some women get turned on by large penises or if some men get turned on by large racks. In the event, I think there’s enough sexual variety in the world for everyone to find a partner that satisfies them, and I’m happy that we live in a society where people have the freedom to pursue the things that attract them. Yes, Montreal now has Big Dicks Big Tits party. Big deal. Instead of protesting these events, why not organize alternatives. Host a Small Dicks, Flat Chests party or a Ugly People are Beautiful event. Whatever floats your boat."

Activists and poorly endowed men say that this line of thinking is dangerous. “If lesbians can get off without using a penis, why does it matter if my member is only two inches?” asks Shiro. “I think it’s offensive that men objectify women’s chests and I think it’s offensive that women discriminate against men with tiny penises. It’s not our fault, we were just born that way. The government needs to make sexual discrimination based on chest & penis size illegal. Everyone’s entitled to love."