The Canadian Medical Practitioners Association, Canada’s foremost medical body, designated Hardcore Raving as a disease on Monday.

The CMPA was inspired by a similar decision in Sweden where doctors in that country classified heavy metal addiction as a debilitating medical condition after being sued by Roëg Dingēłbært, a man who has spent every single day for the last five years going to heavy metal concerts.

“The fact is, every year, thousands of Canadians die of hardcore raving,” says Dr. Sti Tescon. “We’re not talking about mild raving, which involves partying responsibly once or twice a week. Hardcore raving is a different beast entirely. That’s when people can’t stop raving. They just party every day, day in, day out. Their entire life becomes a prison of glow sticks, drugs, and psytrance. Their bodies eventually given up on them. There’s only so much techno we can expose ourselves too before our brain melts."

In the past, victims of hardcore raving were turned away by hospitals. “Since hardcore raving wasn’t considered a medical condition,” says Dr. Sti, “hardcore ravers couldn’t get the help they desperately needed. No more. Starting immediately, hardcore ravers can expect full medical attention from the medical establishment."

Hardcore ravers should seek immediate treatment says Dr. Sti. “Hardcore ravers deserve to be happy, but they’ll never be happy if they don’t stop raving. They need to learn to take break, to sleep, to eat healthy foods, and to let their brains recover from all the drugs they’ve ingested."