Rave promoter Edith Edinburg, a 23 year old London native, was caught stealing food from a charity food drive the she herself organized. “She threw this big “feed the poor” themed rave, asking people to donate food and money for a good cause — but then she kept everything for herself,” says party kid Lester Leningrad. “We all thought we were doing something good, something that would make the world a better place! In the end though, all we did was stock Edith’s cupboards with a years worth of canned food.”



Over two hundred ravers attended Edith’s charity event, which she had delightfully titled “Don’t Be A Whore — Feed The Poor”. The party attracted a small army of good samaritan party kids who donated over a literal ton of food, clothing, and toys. “I volunteered for the party, and we ended up getting over a thousand cans of food, a hundred bags of assorted beans and legumes, and at least two dozen cases of energy drinks” says 19 year old Lynn Canthrope. “That doesn’t even touch on any of the toys and clothing we got. When I found out that Edith simply drove home with all the goods that were donated, I was completely crushed. How could someone do something like that?!”

This isn’t the first time that a rave promoter has organized a fake charity drive. “Most rave promoters are bad people,” says police detective Simon Minsinson. “That’s why you should always be suspicious when a rave promoter says they’re doing something good for the community. That’s like a serial killer saying he wants to save lives or a capitalist saying he wants to liberate the working class. You need to use a bit of common sense.“